Paris: Not really like that one movie

Remember that one movie set in Paris? No, not that one. No, not that one either. Not that one. Nope. Nope. Nope. Yes! That’s the one! The one with that Meg Ryany girl. Maybe Meg Ryan, who knows. I’ve never been to Paris, so I was expecting a lot of Meg Ryan-type romantic walking and funny arguing. Hate to spoil the ending, but it’s not really like that.

We were thrust out of Gare de l’Est into the crowded streets of Paris among business people, loiterers, and beggars, many of them smoking. A young pre-teen immediately approached us. “Do you speak English?” We wanted our first interaction in Paris to go well, so we replied with an enthusiastic “Yes!” Trip to Paris Hint 1: Never say yes to that question. He then showed us a poorly written note about being from Bosnia or something, and asked us for money. When we said no, he more or less forced himself on us, hands together, pleading, “Please, please, please.” That went on for longer than seemed appropriate, but when it was clear we weren’t budging, he calmly walked away. Welcome to Paris.

With our bags on our backs, and front sides, we tried to make sense of the labyrinthine streets as we made our way to our hotel. With a name like “Perfect Hotel,” it better be at least striving for perfect. We were pleased to see it was indeed as close as it could come for the price. Our room was on the second floor, which, as you may know, would be the third floor in the U.S., with a balcony overlooking the street.

We unpacked, changed, and headed out for a stroll along the Avenue des Champs-Élysées to see the Arc de Triomphe and then the Eiffel Tower. Something I never heard about Paris was how crowded and bustling it was. It’s hard to “stroll” most places in Paris, as there are people everywhere, and the sidewalks, in some areas, are about two feet wide. Also infringing on any enjoyable stroll we had in mind was the almost constant smell of exhaust, sewers, cigarette smoke, or general filth. Think New York, only planned out hundreds of years before.

There are green spaces, like the large park next to the Eiffel Tower, or the beautiful gardens of the Luxembourg Palace, where pristine lawns and beautiful flowers decorate the landscape. It’s beautiful to look at -- from your bench in the dirty sand. Most lawns in these spaces are off limits to pedestrians, so the public is relegated to paths of sand and dirt, where pidgins scavenge for food crumbs.

I don’t mean to paint a completely negative picture of Paris. There were indeed some lovely parts of it. For example, everyone is generally better dressed and more attractive than in most places; Parisians are for the most part very friendly and cordial people; the bakeries are delicious and cheap, as is the wine; the sights and landmarks – Notre Dame, the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe, Sacré-Coeur, etc. – are alone reason enough to go to Paris. But when planning our trip, we heard that three nights is simply not enough time to enjoy Paris. After three nights, we were glad to see it, but ready to leave.

Because restaurants and bars as expensive as they are, we ended up doing take out all three nights: a delicious gorgonzola pizza for two nights, and a Thai green curry chicken for the other. Some cheap wine, a balcony (not unlike the one we had in Mpls), and, okay, some cigarettes (when in Paris…) made for relaxing Montmarte evenings.

With a European must-see out of the way, we were headed out to a vacation from our vacation: the anti-Paris – beer, parks (ahem, real parks), bike-able streets, and a friendliness unrivaled by any place on our journey yet. Bruges, here we come.